Internet sides with boyfriend in couple’s home spending debate: ‘Mooching’

Internet commentators were quick to call an unemployed Reddit user who complained about having to use his savings account to contribute to monthly household expenses.

Posting to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/throwawayaccount3172 (otherwise known as the original poster, or OP) said that he recently quit his job and expressed his reluctance to pay bills without having a stable income, despite her boyfriend’s insistence that they do so.

Entitled, “[Am I the a**hole] for telling my boyfriend that he’s never had to struggle a day in his life and he doesn’t want to go back on our deal?” Publish had received over 4,200 upvotes and 1,900 comments in the first 11 hours.

“I recently moved into my boyfriend ‘Sam’s’ apartment,” OP began. “He comes from an upper class family and is very well off.”

“I come from a middle-class background and earn nowhere near as much as him,” OP added.

Going on to explain that they quit their jobs “due to some workplace issues,” OP said they weren’t currently looking for work and didn’t plan to do so until the end of the year.

The Redditor also said that although they have enough money saved up to not work for a while, they do not want to allocate their savings household expenses, much to their boyfriend’s dismay.

“Sam asked me a few days ago to start contributing 50-50 towards bills and other household items,” OP wrote. “It is currently distributed based on our income.”

“I told him no, because I don’t even have an income right now, but he said it was ‘my problem’ and I had to take it out of my savings,” OP continued. “I said we had agreed in advance to split everything based on income, but he said the fact that I don’t have a job is ‘something he has to deal with’.”

“I said I worked really hard for my savings and he couldn’t dictate what I do with them, and I need them for my own business,” OP added. “Sam was pretty pissed off and said I was ‘selfish’ and ‘making fun of him’ but I said that was not the case at all [and] he won’t understand because he’s never had to struggle a day in his life.”

For most couples, moving in together is exciting and a step toward building a life together.

But as with many other cohabitation agreements, disagreements over money can quickly put a damper on this enthusiasm.

To avoid disputes over rent, utility bills, or any other shared expenses, the real estate website Apartment search recommends that couples have strict cost-sharing systems in place that establish each partner’s monthly responsibilities.

Whether that system is a traditional 50-50 split, evenly split rent with tiered utilities, or a percentage split based on income, the most important factor when it comes to couples living together is responsibility.

For couples to achieve successful cohabitation, each partner must keep their end of the bargain—even when it doesn’t seem necessary.

Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum were quick to call out a Redditor for not doing their part regarding shared household expenses. Above is a depiction of a couple having a disagreement over spending.
fizkes/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Through multiple allusions to their boyfriend’s wealth and well-paying job, OP made it clear that he could keep the couple afloat for quite some time, supposedly justifying his refusal to use his savings to cover the half of their expenses.

Redditors responding to the viral post scoffed at the notion.

Throughout the comment section of the post, Redditors slammed OP for insinuating that because they quit their jobs they were exempt from contributing financially and repeated their boyfriend’s assessment of the situation.

“[You’re the a**hole]”, wrote Redditor u/Temporary_Badger in the main comment of the post, which received more than 9,000 upvotes. “You agreed to contribute based on income and then quit your job because you thought it meant that you weren’t to contribute anything.”

“You’re absolutely a mooch and you’re taking advantage of him and he’s right to tell you he won’t take it,” they added. “He realized you had no intention of contributing proportionally as much as using his wealth as an excuse to do nothing.”

Redditor u/FireWaterGold, whose comment received more than 5,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.

“You agreed to share the rent based on proportional income… But that was before you decided to quit your job,” they wrote. “If it was going to make it difficult for you financially… Then you shouldn’t have quit until you had another job scheduled.”

“You must pay exactly what you paid before you stop working,” they added. “His employment status has nothing to do with it. It doesn’t matter how much money he has…You’re taking advantage of him.”

“Looks like you’re trying to find a loophole in your deal,” added Redditor u/tlf55, receiving over 1,000 upvotes. “You should have had discussions before you quit about the impact it would have on the household… Instead, you jump straight to ‘He should pay for everything since he earns all the income.'”

Newsweek contacted u/throwawayaccount3172 for comment.

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