Man’s Account of His Wife and Mom’s Clash Leaves the Internet Disgusted

Members of a popular internet forum have shaken their heads after a man revealed how he found himself in the middle of an all-out war between his wife and mother.

In a virality Reddit article posted on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/EffortPresent9645 (otherwise known as the original poster, or OP) said his mother lived hours away and explained how a “miserable” visit in 2019 sparked a new conflict three years later.

Entitled, “[Am I the a**hole] for siding with my mom over my wife and telling my wife it was her fault for embarrassing me? » Publish has received over 8,000 upvotes and 4,000 comments since August 26.

“My mom lives eight hours away by plane,” OP began. “My wife made it clear when she moved out that she had to be the only one to come see us because she made the choice to move out.”

Continuing to explain that his wife was adamant that their family would not change their lives for his mother, the original poster said the last time she makes the way at home, things ended badly.

“My mom visited me once, three years ago,” OP wrote. “We went to work as usual and she was alone…we did our normal chores/routines…we had our normal weeknight meals, and at the end of the trip my mum was clearly miserable, tired and hungry.”

The original poster also stated that after years of pandemic-related travel restrictions, he had invited his mother to visit him again. Unfortunately, his invitation was decreases– much to his wife’s dismay.

“My mom said sorry but no. She said it was torture, and if we can’t make the effort to house her, she won’t come,” OP wrote. “My wife wanted me to confront her about how ‘authorized’ she was.

“I said no, so she called my mom and accused her of being childish and constantly in need of entertainment…my mom [yelled] that we were shitty hosts,” OP continued. “My wife demanded to know which side I was on and I said it was my mom… now she feels I betrayed her and I am a mother’s son.”

Conflicts with mothers-in-law are frequent, in fact and on the Internet.

Complaints about overbearing, fussy in-laws are strewn across many marriage and parenting forums and often boil down to one burning question: How much toxic behavior will be tolerated until someone says enough?

Expecting submissiveness or special treatment is often a sign of a toxic mother-in-law, according to parenting website We Have Kids.

Forcing their child to choose sides and more specifically, forcing their child to side with their spouse is another indicator of toxicity and a surefire catalyst for emotional warfare.

“If she can’t make you respect her authority, she’ll tighten the reins on your spouse, her other children, her grandchildren, and as many friends and family as possible,” We Have Kids claims. “She’ll make the simple things complicated just to prove to everyone that she’s the one calling the shots.”

However, when both spouses and their in-laws are determined to make the decisions, the risk of cataclysmic breakdown between family members is even greater.

The couple argue during a phone call with the husband’s mother. Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum called multiple parties after a man detailed the tension between his wife, mother and himself.
Prostock-Studio/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Throughout the comments section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors recognized this potential and called out the original poster, his wife, and his mother for being stubborn and allowing their relationship to fall apart so much. she did it.

“Everyone sucks here,” commented Redditor u/Straight-Singer-2912, receiving over 7,000 upvotes. “Your mother was ‘starving’ because she expected someone to shop and cook for her. She is doing wonderfully.

“[Your wife] It was stupid to call your mom and argue with her…[and] you are the [a**hole] because you denigrated your wife in front of your mother,” they added. “But your mother is the greatest [a**hole]she drives a wedge and she knows it.”

Redditor u/Mrs_ghee_buttersnaps, whose comment received over 2,500 upvotes, offered a similar response.

“[Everyone sucks here]“, they wrote. “Your wife for being so draconian and rigid…your mother for assuming that you will entertain her…you for not taking the time to spend with your mother when she came downstairs.”

“Your wife seemed to not only set boundaries, but go out of her way to make your mom feel uncomfortable and unwelcome,” Redditor u/jrm1102 added. “You should have stepped in when your mom first moved out… so maybe [everyone sucks here].”

In the top comment of the post, which received over 16,000 upvotes, Redditor u/KaNGkyebin remained focused on the original poster and the role it plays in the conflict between his wife and mother.

“It seems to me that your wife doesn’t want to be expected to give up all of her responsibilities to plan, prepare and host, a role that women have been conditioned to take on automatically,” they wrote. they wrote.

“If you want your mother to come, discuss with your wife how to make sure you can be welcoming and gracious hosts without overburdening your wife,” they continued. “Aka you take on more of those responsibilities [because] it is your mom.”

Newsweek has contacted u/EffortPresent9645 for comment.

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